Whoever thinks that professors have it easy in the summer should take a look at my schedule. I keep trying to get a little time off, but have been sucked into the office every day since I gave my final exam. Why? Two words: Job Search. Two other words: Tenure Binder. Final two words: Administrative Duties.
- I have a love/hate relationship with search committees. On one hand, I like being involved in picking my future colleagues. On the other hand, they are such a time suck. (Trust me, I know – I have been on eight searches in five years!) Today, I have to call references. That sucks because it’s always hard to pin people down in the summer. Plus, I really don’t like talking to people on the phone. Blah!
- I have a love/hate relationship with tenure … and with my tenure binder. On one hand, tenure is a marvelous thing because you have job security. On the other hand, it allows way too many people to ROTJ — retire on the job. As a junior faculty member, I witness this ROTJ on a daily basis and I swear that I’ll never be like that. But who am I kidding? As soon as I have tenure, I am going to be way more selective about my service obligations. I’m going to go to one conference a year instead of two or three. And I’m going to work on my book, as opposed to churning out articles for journals that no one reads. As for my binder, well, the more I work on it, the more pissed I get, simply because I feel like I am getting taken advantage of. I’ve done just a shitload of work in five years — 16 new preps, service out the ass, and a fair amount of research for this type of institution. So, tell me why I am only making $100 more a year than someone who started a year after me? Seriously? I’m only $100 more valuable? You’ve got to be shitting me.
- I have a love/hate relationship with administration. I want to be the boss of everyone, so I guess I need to do my administrative grunt work. But damn, I’d also like to have a day off once in a while. Ugh! Especially a day like today where I can feel a headache coming on, even though I’ve taken some preemptive meds.
And now, I must hit the phone.
What? You’re not sitting by the pool with a Mai Tai in one hand, a book from your own personal reading list in the other, as you’re being fed grapes by a cabana boy? I thought that is all you professor types did all summer.