Research is a tricky beast. Some days, it bites you on the ass. You’re blocked. You can’t get a word written down. You’re interrupted by other demands and end up getting bumped out of your mental space. When you have the teaching load that I have (or used to have), it’s really hard to get anything done. Yes, some writing “gurus” – such as our faculty development chick — say that professors should try to write for at least five minutes a day. Writing something, anything, is supposed to keep you on track to your goals. Of course that never happens and really, big blocks of time are necessary for me to get into the zone. When you’re not doing research, it hangs over your head. You think:
Oh my god. I suck. Everyone else is better than me. I haven’t gotten a damn thing done in the past three weeks! I am never, never going to get tenure.*
Of course, this makes you panic. Then you obsess. Soon, you hate your research and avoid it at all costs. It’s easy to avoid research anyways because there’s always grading, service, and meetings to keep you busy. By the time summer comes around, you want to sit on your ass and do nothing but drink heavily, read brain candy, and cultivate your skin cancer suntan.
You all know how it is.
Fortunately, I had a couple of really, really good research days this week. The tidal wave of students actually ebbed and I had two days with large blocks of time to work on the article R. and I are submitting to a journal. I even had enough time to recode some data and solve a stats mystery. (I love it when that happens!) I have now shipped the stinking article off to R. for his additions and comments. Me? I am going to leave my laptop at home when I go to New York. I do plan on taking a couple of research books, seeing how my grandmother goes to sleep at 7 p.m. (and I’m not exaggerating) so I’ll have something to do. But, I’m also taking “fun” book to read on the plane. I’ll hit the next project when I get back.
* Only, at my school, there’s really not a reason to obsess because no one else is getting stuff done! Either they are hammered with service or they’re tenured and have opted out of everything except their classroom contact hours.
