I hate hillbilly redneck assholes

I am righteous in my anger this morning. You see, The Coach and I made the cardinal mistake of going to the Golden Trough Corral for brunch. I know, I know. Everytime we go there, we run into the dregs of Sorta’ Cosmopolitan society. Mullets everywhere, you know? Well, this morning, we pulled up into the parking lot and some hillbilly, white trash, redneck asshole had left his dog in the car. WTF? If it’s hot enough that this gal from Alabama is sweating while standing on the blacktopped parking lot, it is definitely too hot to leave your dog in the car.

The Coach and I went inside, ate, and bitched about the dog in the car. We talked about calling the cops (doubtful that they would actually respond in this town, but whatever) if the dog was still out there when we left. Forty-five minutes later … the dog is still in the car, tongue hanging out. Just as I was going to make The Coach whip out his cell phone, these two idiots came out to the car.

I was polite. I swear I was. I didn’t call them fuckheads, or jackasses, or hillbilly, white trash, redneck retards. I pointed out that it was bad practice to leave a dog in the car in late July. “Oh, we haven’t been in there that long,” said the better dressed man. Uh? Seriously? I made another comment – again polite – and got into my car to drive off.

Yeah, those two assholes actually followed me to the gas station! WTF? Seriously? What did they think they were going to do? Kick my ass in the overloaded parking lot? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Even though they were on the other side of the gas station building, the younger, trashier one decides it is a good idea to walk around the building just so he could shoot me the bird.*  What the fuck ever. I admit that I responded in kind as they went pulling out of the parking lot.

This is not the first time I have been horrified by the way people treat their animals in Sorta’ Cosmopolitan. Just last week, my secretary told me that she went into a store and got the manager because some asshole left his dog in the car when it was over 90 degrees out. The same day she told me that story, the idiot who lives across the street from us was cited by animal control because he tied his puppy outside and left it there, crying at the top of its lungs, when we had a heat index of 100+. Plus, people routinely move out of their rentals and leave their cats behind to fend for themselves (thus leading to the horrible feral cat problem we seem to have down in the Academic Ghetto). Last fall, I actually saw kittens climbing in and out of the sewer drain at my bank, which is located in the deepest part of suburban hell.

Assholes, all of them.

* The Coach, meanwhile, felt compelled to drive around the parking lot (we were in two cars because I was on my way to the office), monitoring the situation. I would have liked to have seen these two assholes try to take him on. He would have crushed them like cockroaches.