Day 7: Buffalo and Badlands

Buffalo in Custer State Park, South Dakota

What’s the best thing about camping in a suburban KOA? It’s the $1 all-you-can-eat pancakes, of course! The Coach and I were getting pretty darned sick of granola bars by this point in our trip, so we decided to get up early enough to hit the chow line before we headed out on our quest to find the buffalo. We packed our stinky sheets and blankets back in the car for the last time, crammed a bunch of souvenirs into our luggage, and checked the ice in the cooler, then headed for the front of the campground. You could smell the pancakes from the parking lot – and unfortunately, you could see the line from the bottom of the stairs. Everyone, it seems, loves a cheap breakfast.

It took us longer than expected to make it through the line, mainly due to the fact that there was a severe language barrier between one of the families and the girl running the cash register. I’ll admit that the joy of being on vacation was starting to wear off and I was getting a bit irritated by the situation, but The Coach took it all in stride. He wanted those pancakes, damn it, and we were going to wait until hell froze over to get them.

I can’t say they were the best pancakes I’ve ever had, but they were filling and the bacon was nice and crisp – something that I can’t seem to get in Sorta’ Cosmopolitan where all pork products are floppy, fatty, and undercooked. The Coach went back for seconds before I ever finished my first serving, then we hit the road, aimed for Custer State Park. [1]

We were ready for Round 2!

I was humored by the fact that we saw a camper with Netherlands’ license plates on it. {Good grief, but that must have cost a bundle to ship over to the States!} I just hoped that it would not be the oddest thing we saw during our drive around the park. For a while, I was worried that we had struck out. We drove and drove and saw nothing. No deer. No antelope. Not even a yappy Chihuahua.

And then, in the distance, we saw a bunch of cars pulled over on the side of the road. Yes! We had found the herd of buffalo. A small herd, mind you, but a herd nonetheless. We pulled over and I hopped out with the camera. Don’t worry. I read the sign. I knew that “Buffalo are dangerous! Do not approach!” It’s a good thing that my camera has a zoom lens, eh? Unfortunately, the sun was in the wrong spot so all of my pictures are of buffalo asses, but hey, a buffalo picture is a buffalo picture – even if it’s of the wrong end. {LOL}

 A very patient mama!
Custer State Park, South Dakota

After a while, we had to move on because we had an agenda. We didn’t get very far before we had to stop again, this time because visions of Eeyore were dancing before my eyes. You guessed it! A pack of burros were spread across the road, including a mother who was nursing her babe right in the middle of the pavement. These guys were pretty tame, approaching people for food. One of them walked right up to Sally, sticking her head in the car window! {I have pictures of this in my Flickr account} So cute! And very, very wrong for us have petted them, I’m sure.

The Coach still swears that the prairie dogs were the best critters on the trip, but I’m not so sure. I would have taken little Eeyore home with me if I could have fit her in my car. {wink, wink}

It took a while, but The Coach managed to get the car through the pack and we headed down to Wind Cave National Park. Now, this wasn’t on our original agenda, but since we were already so far off our Trip Tik, we figured it was worth taking the extra time to see the park. What a good idea that was! We didn’t get very far before we came across more buffalo. They were everywhere. I swear, we must have passed three or four different herds before we came to the turnoff to the visitors’ center.

And then, we hit a bit of a snag.

There were buffalo sprawled across the entire intersection. Some of them were sniffing the sign. {The Coach said they were admiring the carving of their brother on the NPS logo.} Others were just standing there, staring at the cars. In the midst of it all was a park ranger, driving his SUV through the critters, honking at them in a somewhat futile attempt to get them off the road. Sure, the buffalo moved when he honked at them, but as soon as he drove past, they walked right back into the road.

We loved it. So majestic. So calm. So wooly. And so damned right for the Great Plains.

The ranger’s efforts, as ineffectual as they were, were enough that we could squeeze Sally around the herd (no dents!) and into the visitors’ center parking lot. Our timing was perfect, too. We had just enough time to pee and look at a few exhibits before taking the Natural Entrance tour. Of course, we ran into more people who don’t know how to follow directions. The ranger inside the building spent a good deal of time telling people to wear sturdy shoes; yet, while we were in the outside waiting area, I counted at least three girls wearing flip flops. {Sigh}

We started out by looking at the original entrance to the cave. It’s just this little hole in the ground that breathes in and out – sometimes blowing out as fast as 60 miles an hour. For the life of me, I don’t understand why the kid who found the cave would have gone into such a small hole. Hell, I don’t even know how he fit in the hole! Fortunately, we went around to the “new” entrance where our fat American asses could waltz right into the cave.

Our descent began.

The tour description said that there were 300 stairs on this particular path, all but a handful of them going down. I counted the first 100 … and then I gave up because I needed to pay attention to the ceiling of the cave. The ranger, a 5’3” woman, told us that we’d all have to duck a lot on the tour. I’m 5’2” on a good day and I didn’t have to duck once. Sure, I had to bend left a couple of time, so I didn’t bang my head, but I’m just the right height for caving [2].

The Coach, on the other hand, had some problems. It’s cruel, I know, to make a 6’3” ex-lineman go on a cave tour, but he was a trooper. He ducked when I said duck. He squashed himself through narrow, narrow spots. At one point, he noted that he was leaving bits and pieces of himself on the walls (our apologies to the National Park Service), but he’s not claustrophobic, so it all worked out okay – except for a couple of blisters on his big toe [3].

I can tell you that it was worth the effort. While Wind Cave isn’t nearly as flashy as Carlsbad Caverns, it is more impressive than Mammoth Cave. Even if you discount the fact that Wind Cave is the fourth longest cave in the world, the boxwork (which looked more like spider webs to me) is amazing to look at – and the geological processes that made it are so cool! I only wish that I had my camera along, but based on past experience, I knew that it would be too dark to take good pictures without a flash. 

Yellow Mounds @ Badlands National Park

Tour completed, we made our lunch (more salami, more turkey) and headed down some sort of scenic South Dakota byway, eventually driving through the Buffalo Gap National Grasslands. Ah, the grasslands. Miles and miles of – you guessed it – grass. My mama used to say that the road between Atlanta and Savannah was the most boring road in America. She obviously has not driven through the grasslands of South Dakota.

But it was worth it, just for the shock of seeing the Badlands rise out of nowhere. One minute, it’s all grass. The next, red stone cliffs are soaring into the air! We took our time approaching the park, staring at the mesas (I guess that’s the right term) and trying to avoid the potholes and bumps in the road (poor Sally – she’s just not made for this). Eventually, we entered the park from the Interior entrance, stopping at the Visitors’ Center to get our passport cancellation.

The stop ended up taking a bit of time because The Coach wanted to fix his boots (remember those blisters from Wind Cave?), I wanted to shop, and we both wanted to watch the movie. I am a sucker for those national park gift stores. I walked out of there with a new hat, two books, and a ton of postcards. One of those books, Buffalo for the Broken Heart, turned out to be a really good read – and makes me want to go back to South Dakota again.

We spent the rest of our daylight hours driving the 240 Loop towards Wall, stopping along the way to take pictures, walk the Fossil Exhibit Trail, and hike a (very) short distance on the Castle Trail. Although we saw signs for rattlesnakes, we didn’t encounter a single one. We did, however, encounter a park ranger giving out (speeding?) tickets, a very idiotic family that couldn’t follow directions (ARGH!), a very cute set of fox terriers, a very odd family unit that included both “English” and Mennonites in full garb, and – at the very last overlook – mountain goats.

The Badlands are amazing. The Coach and I agree that we need to go back when we have enough time to hike the Castle Trail, preferably when it’s cold out. {LOL} 

Apparently, you can’t go to South Dakota without visiting Wall Drug, so The Coach and I ended the day by going to this mecca of American tourism. The Coach needed a belt to keep his pants up and I wanted my glass of free ice water. We ended up eating buffalo burgers and ice cream before heading back to our hotel for the night … but the hotel description will have to wait for my final vacation blog.

Final Vacation Entry: Fighting a cold war from the Great Plains

Notes:

1. It’s a little ironic that you have to go to Custer State Park to see the buffalo, seeing how Custer can be implicated in the near demise of these creatures.
2. My big ass, on the other hand, probably not so much …
3. My cousin, B., tiny thing that she is, never would have survived. She has issues with too many people in elevators.