Karma has bit me on the butt. There’s too much snow between me and my colonial Christmas destination, and seeing how southerners can’t really plow, we have cancelled our vacation. Let’s just say the Disenchanted family really is disenchanted this holiday season. Sigh.

So, guess where I am? If you guessed “in your office,” then you’d be right.

We’re wavering on the Christmas trip to Colonial Williamsburg. On one hand we both want to get out-of-town for a while, mostly so the people we work for cannot compel us to work over the holidays. Well, let’s restate that: the people *I* work for who seem to think that it’s a good idea to try to schedule meetings during Christmas break.

F*ck that.

Seeing how our wages are frozen, how I’m working an overload without the overload pay, and how I was a good little trooper and did my summer duties without complaint (while my other colleagues fled the continent and left their summer duties for the rest of us to cover), there is no way I am going into work Monday. It’s just not gonna happen. Having vacation plans provides such good cover although I have to leave my cell phone number behind. I’m still trying to figure out how a 10 month contract = on call 24/7, 365 days a year.

So, vacation is a good idea … but we’re so tired (and that is a plural we) that there’s a certain appeal to holing up in the house with videos, hot chocolate, and popcorn and not emerging until January 4th. Sigh.

My life is in suspension as I try to dig out from a tsunami of graduate papers. Hopefully it will all be over in two or three days because my mind has turned to mush. Sadly, I can’t grade them all tomorrow because I have: (1) a meeting with the dean; (2) a meeting with a student; and (3) a graduate council meeting. These three things, when paired with the fact that I have a bunch of search committee duties, will suck up most of Thursday. Sigh.

When is Christmas again? And why, oh why, did I assign such long final papers?

My day in a nutshell:

• Fell over babygate and bashed up knee
• Smashed foot against desk (ouch)
• Dealt with stupid student
• Waited for the phone company
• Called phone company when they didn’t show up … again.
• Dealt with search committee issues
• Dealt with grad student graduation issues
• Ripped my underwear in the bathroom at work
• Wondered for the 100th time why I bothered to get out of bed
• Dealt with more search committee issues
• Dealt with student who got F in undergrad class
• Graded, graded, graded

It has not been a good day. My brain feels like it has been bashed in with a baseball bat. Maybe I need another G&T?

I am waiting for the phone repair guy to show up … because he didn’t show up last week. No, I waited all afternoon on Thursday, cooped up in a room with my hyper-active dogs, and the phone guy never came. When I called to complain, they said that they had called first to make sure I was there for the appointment. Too bad the phone didn’t work when they called, eh?

So, this morning, as I was waiting, I received an email from a girl who missed over 25% of my class meeting days. “Dr. Disenchanted, in the spirit of the holidays, will you round up my score from a C to a B?” Sure, she has a 79.xxx — but I also gave her a pass on her late paper because her computer was broken AND  I had already given the students way too many opportunitities for bonus credit this semester.

And I am certainly not in the holiday spirit. Especially not while I sit here in my old hiking socks, sleeping shorts, and my husband’s giant sweatshirt, hair all sweaty and tangled, waiting for the guy to show up. Sigh.

I need a good stiff drink.
That is all.

Five days to freedom, but numerous speed bumps in the way:

• Grade 20+ graduate exams (10-14 pages each)
• Grade eight group presentations and memos
• Prepare assignment for Grad class exam period
• Prepare feedback forms for Grad class exam period
• Administer the undergrad exam
• Grade undergrad exam
• Grade undergrad homeworks
• Grade undergrad bonus assignments
• Grade grad student journals (20-35 pages each)
• Grade grad students’ self-evals of learning teams
• Defend program review to self-study committee
• Administrative meeting
• Grad council meeting
• Clean up 3 incompletes for students
• Remind my faculty to submit final grades
• Round up discussants for program in January
• Get stuff together to write conference paper
• Graduate admissions stuff
• Graduation application for student
• Follow up on search committee issues (mine)
• Follow up on search committee issues (the other search)
• Journal edits (don’t ask)
• Do favor for TQE
• Review article for journal
• Post incompletes
• Post final grades for undergrads
• Post final grades for grad students
• Memo for search committee
• Meeting with Dean
• Post final two grades for undergrads with missing papers
• Take care of cheater, cheater paperwork
• Clean out email
• Thank you letter for donation

And now for the “Oh fuck it” list:

• Work on travel arrangements for other search committee – Well I got two of the three individuals taken care of.
• Write a reference letter – Will just have to wait until after the break.

I look forward to crossing stuff off this list.

I have to tell you, I cannot wait for this evil freakin’ semester to end. Let’s just hope that today was the apex of evil because — quite honestly — if I have many more days like today, I am seriously going to need a prescription for Valium. I should have known that today was going to be a bad day when I came downstairs in my pretty pink socks — the ones that matched the sweater I was wearing — and promptly stepped in puppy poo. This probably speaks to my state of mind when I tell you that I actually considered scraping the poop off my sock when I felt the squishy carpet beneath my foot. Oh yeah. The Tenure Puppy left me a two-fer: pee and poo.

Let’s just say that potty training has been difficult.

I had hopes that the day would be okay after I managed to miss the train on my commute to work. And for a while, it was. After all, I did manage to prep my study session. I also got a good chunk of grading done. But, I also made a student cry today (I *hate* that) and had to put out several fires. At least I got my search committee duties done before I dashed for the exit. But, I still have to put on my game face and go to an administrative Christmas Party.

Thank the god(dess) that there will be booze at that.

The Monkey, Not on my Back
I’ve always wanted one of these, so I got one as my reward
for navigating the hoardes of Christmas shoppers last Saturday.

To steal an old school phrase from my dearly departed father: “Damn, but it’s colder than a witch’s tit out there!” It’s not too warm in this house either. Right now, I’m sitting in my office, waiting for the phone repair guy and successfully avoiding anything related to grading. There’s a stiff breeze seeping through the office window. It’s chilly enough that even my super-duper Under Armour ColdGear(c) shirt isn’t keeping me warm. I added a sweater, but I’m thinking about moving into the spare room to grade my papers because it’s the warmest room in our house. Even the dogs are freezing their butts off! Brrr!

Pix: Breath of Death models the new sweater that one of my grad students gave me because it didn’t fit her dog. He fought against putting it on, but hey, he’s stopped shivering and shaking.